STORY 6 :Shadnabhai & Balraj Jul 05 2023

Balraj was born in La Gaulette on the southwest coast of the island. His father was a labourer and owned a small farm with a few cows. Every morning, Balraj would wake up early and accompany his father when he went to milk the cows and go to distribute the products in the neighbourhood. This taught Balraj the virtues of hard work and discipline from an early age. His family was not wealthy, and despite financial difficulties, Balraj persevered and completed his secondary education. They later moved to Quatre Bornes, and Balraj got a job as a clerk in a bank.
One day, at a birthday party at his uncle's place, Balraj was captivated by the smile of a girl and could not help staring at her. He told himself at that moment that this was the girl that he would marry. The girl was Shadnabhai. She also took notice of Balraj as he was the only young man at the party that day, and he did not take his eyes off her throughout the party. Shadnabhai was then a student of Loreto College, and every morning, she would take the bus to school. Balraj happened to be waiting for a bus to go to work at the same bus stop. Every morning, Balraj would hang around to talk to Shadnabhai and would only board the bus after she had left for school.

This went on for some time until one day, Shadnabhai's father came to know of it. As an educator, he had strict principles and did not like his daughter to be distracted from her studies. Shadnabhai was deeply affected by her father's disapproval. In those days, children were expected to obey their parents. The next day, when Balraj met Shadnabhai at the bus stop, he immediately sensed a change in her attitude. Shadnabhai told him that it was not possible for them to continue seeing each other. Balraj understood the seriousness of the situation and did not want to put her in an embarrassing position. They stopped interacting and stayed away from each other for nearly one year. Balraj was heartbroken, but he never gave up hope that one day, he would marry the love of his life.
Over time, Balraj had become acquainted with Shadnabhai's brother. One day he needed to meet the latter and went to his house. The moment, Shadnabhai's father saw Balraj, he immediately knew who he was. He had done some research about the young man who used to meet his daughter at the bus stop and found out that Balraj was a sincere and hardworking man. He also learned that Balraj was from La Gaulette, where he also came from and that probably made him more sympathetic to him. He asked Balraj about his intentions with Shadnabhai and informed him that he had no objection to their relationship but insisted that they wait until she completes her studies.
This turn of events made Balraj and Shadnabhai's relationship official. They could now meet without hiding and did not have to rely on chance encounters at the bus stop. They, however, had to wait to be able to tie the knots. Shadnabhai had an older sister, and it was customary for younger sisters to wait until their elder sister married first. Balraj and Shadnabhai waited for two years and finally got married on August 5th, 1984.

Initially, the newly married couple had to stay with Balraj's family. He knew that he was bringing a girl that came from a privileged background, and he wanted to ensure that she did not have to make any significant sacrifices in regard to her comfort and facilities. At the same time, however, Balraj also had to balance his responsibilities towards his own family and their way of life. The differences in culture and background were significant, and Balraj had to walk a tightrope to meet the expectations of his family and the needs of his new wife.

After some time, the couple had their first child, followed by a second one. Tragically, their little family was struck by a tragedy when they lost their second child when he was only 17 days old. The baby fell sick, and despite their best efforts, Balraj and Shadnabhai could not save him. They felt helpless watching him suffer, and Balraj was left devastated by this loss. The baby resembled him and was born on January 6th, just one day after his own birthday. These little signs made Balraj feel even more connected to his son, and he missed him terribly.

The loss of their child was a devastating blow to their dreams of building a family cocoon. They felt a sense of despair that got them to reevaluate their life. Balraj proposed that they move away to their own home, feeling that he needed to devote his full effort to rebuilding his family after the tragedy. To be able to do that, they had to start from scratch, which proved to be challenging as Balraj was the sole breadwinner. They had debts and loans to repay, and they literally had to count every penny. They could not afford a grandiose life and lived with only the bare necessities. For Shadnabhai, who came from a wealthier family, this proved to be a real test of her love for Balraj. She aligned her effort with that of her husband and devoted herself to her family. They confided in each other and did their best to look in the same direction.

When Balraj was younger, he remembered his father being very spiritual and having regular prayers at different moments of the day. During those hard times, Balraj started praying regularly too and became more spiritual. Shadnabhai's family had never been as religious as Balraj's family, but in support of her husband, she also started fasting alongside him. They regularly went to the temple and have kept doing so until now. This shared spiritual practice not only strengthened their bond as a couple but gave them the guidance to resist the allure of materialism and greed and a sense of direction to navigate through the ups and downs of life.

Slowly but surely, the new house started taking shape. It was around this time that Balraj was sent to Pune in India for a training course of 12 weeks. It was the first time that he was away from his family. It was around 2 a.m. when his plane landed at the Mumbai airport, and Balraj heard the song ‘Ek Ladki Ko Dekha’ being played. He wondered what his wife and his two kids were doing at this time, and he was flooded with strong emotions and sadness. He immediately wanted to come back to his family. The words of the song relating to the feelings of a guy whose life is changed after one look at a girl reminded Balraj so much of his own journey since the first time he saw Shadnabhai at the birthday party, the sacrifices he has had to make and the challenges they have overcome together. At that moment, he truly felt how much his family counted on him.

Balraj's family was constantly on his mind throughout his stay in Pune. At that time, the international means of communication were limited, and even transport families were not available where Balraj was staying in India. Balraj and Shadnabhai tried to stay in touch through ISD calls and wrote letters to each other. The experience of separation deepened their love and somehow brought them even closer together.

When Balraj finally came back, he saw his family in a whole new light. The time he had spent away had given him a chance to reflect on his life and his priorities. He became more aware of his responsibilities towards his wife and his family and became more devoted than ever to helping them achieve their dreams. Over his whole career, Balraj would go to the office early and work with the discipline which he learned from his father. When he came back late in the night, his wife would be waiting for him, and they would sit and have dinner together. Shadnabhai was a devoted partner for Balraj, taking care of all his needs and proving to be an unmatched pillar of support in his life.
Balraj retired from work earlier this year after 46 years of service to the bank. His children have grown up, they have done well in their studies and are all university educated. They all work in good positions and are doing well in their respective fields. To Balraj and Shadnabhai, these achievements are a matter of great pride, considering where they started and the sacrifices they have had to make to keep their dream alive.

This year, Balraj and Shadnabhai will celebrate their 39th wedding, a testament to the dream they shared long ago of building a life filled with love and commitment together.